At the end of each year, during this quiet time that transitions us from one year to the next, I find myself in a mood of reflection and examination. I like to take this time to quietly sit with my thoughts in what was accomplished over the last year, what lessons I learned, and where I want to take things in the new year to come. As 2022 has come to an end and 2023 is on the horizon, I find myself experiencing new creative sparks, wrapping up projects initiated in 2022 and looking to the possibilities of what the new year will bring. While I am grateful for so many things over the last year, I am finding that I am really grateful for the challenges this last year has brought me.
I have been challenged on a personal and professional level in ways I haven’t been over the last couple of years. I have experienced several levels of grief from loss, questioned what I am doing and where I am going, and asked myself who I want to be. I have found this deep need to bring discipline back into my life that has been missing for quite some time as I am realizing that is a key for me to be in joy (which may seem counterintuitive to some). As I am finishing up the manuscript for my next book, I decided to meditate and reflect on what I am grateful for in my writing process. To get to that, I need to first talk a bit about my writing process as I have learned that the process is different for everyone.
I prefer to cook vs. bake my stories
Between the writers I have talked to and the ones I follow on social media, it seems that we all have different writing processes. While I am always writing and have many unfinished or unpublished works on my hard drive, the writing itself is not usually a challenge. I think this is because for me, my writing process is one that I like to think of as ‘spark-and-flow-based’. The minute I feel an idea come forth with power or inspiration, I like to tap into it and anchor it in right away.
Once I get that spark or idea, if I anchor it in (by taking notes on my phone, emailing myself, sending a voice memo, jotting it down on paper or a blank word doc), I can then start to plan out the story and make it into something. I usually know within the first ~20 minutes of sitting down to write it out if I am in the flow and feel in my heart that I have something I want to create and share, or if I just had an idea that I am not sure how to bring to life.
‘Baking’ a story by putting together an ingredient list and assembling it all together rarely works for me. I have never been a good baker, so following a formula with specific directions doesn’t usually bring me success. I write the way that I cook, through a spark of inspiration that I intuitively assemble and then see if it takes the form of what I wanted to make.
The hardest part isn’t the writing
This last year I have been asked on several occasions if writing a book is hard. When asked this, I always answer no. It’s not hard to put words on paper and write something. For me the hardest part isn’t the writing. For me the challenges are in the editing, illustrating, and publishing process. For me writing is expressing and freeing. It’s how I’ve always made sense of my experiences and emotions. If I can get in the right state of mind and tap into the flow, the words spill out on the page. I have many stories I have written; however, I don’t have many stories I have edited and published.
The editing, illustrating, and publishing process for me feels like doing deep emotional work. There are obstacles that get in my way that I know I need to look at and address, but I’m not always sure how to do that. Just like working on myself, I don’t always know the next step or the outcome that I want my creation to be. I have an intangible vision and I need to not only get the words right but align the images to the words to bring it to reality. I want all my books to carry deeper lessons and messages, and with that comes the need for clarity as words and pictures are powerful. I want the words and images I use to be intentional and emit truth for the reader to hear and see.
Looking deeper to express
To do this, I have to dig deep. I must review, edit, write, and re-write my simple little stories many times. I work with an illustrator who can take my words and create the picture that is in my head. I also have to ask myself if I am being obsessive or if something truly doesn’t feel right. And lastly, I clear my mind, tap into my heart, and listen to see how the words resonate with it. I know I am done when I feel like the words on the page are vibrating in alignment with the message I wanted to share and when it simply just feels right. The biggest challenge in this process is in addressing my fears with the revision and approval process because writing is vulnerability. For me there is no logical formula that can help me get there. It is an expression of myself, and the only way I can finish a piece is if it feels right and I feel like I have done the work to let it fly free as they all are a piece of me.
Trusting the compass of my heart as I move forward
As I complete this next book and look at what the next year could bring, I am not only grateful but feel a renewed sense of peace that even through the challenges I am on the right path. Writing is a journey filled with twists, turns, vulnerability, self-examination, and lots of releasing. It’s a journey of expression and letting go of expectations. This last year, I learned to let go a bit more and to trust that whether I am crawling, walking, or running – if I am following the compass of my heart I am always headed in the right direction.
Moving forward into 2023, trusting the compass of my heart is the goal. It is the GPS system that has never steered me wrong. Even if mistakes are made and lessons are learned, they were only short detours to my destination – data I collected to better know myself, who I am, what I want, and where I want to be. Listening to my heart has never steered me wrong as it is my true north – a lesson I continue to learn and hope to inspire in others in all I do.