One of the things I have noticed since becoming a mom is that there are certain behaviors or patterns (both positive and not so positive) that I share with my daughters. During our regular nightly story time, my daughter asked for a “non-fiction story” from my childhood. Right before this we were talking about how to respond if people make fun of her. I decided to use storytelling to both relate with her and teach a lesson that I learned growing up and told her a story from my childhood from a time when I was made fun of.
Lessons & Connection
As I told the story, I went into detail about what happened (adjusting as needed to ensure it is age appropriate), how it made me feel, and how I handled it. Without going into details, I was made fun of for one of my gifts. Something that I up until that point loved about myself, and in that moment, I decided to not love it anymore. Instead of glazing over the hurt, I was honest with her. I told her how it crushed me and took many years to realize that those who made fun of me were wrong and that I now understand it to be a gift that I have. I reiterated to her that when we shine and share our gifts with others, there will always be some people that want to tear us down.
Finding Strength Through Mantra Writing
Sharing this story with her allowed us to talk through different ways to handle those situations in her life and practice them! She had moments where she wanted to listen to the ‘liar’ in her head and believe the mean words others have been said to her, but we worked through it. I had her end with a mantra to strengthen her belief in herself: “I am brave. I am strong. I am good. I am kind. I am beautiful. And I have many gifts to share with the world.”
Finding Power in Shifting Together
At first, she whispered the mantra and said it as a question, but I encouraged her to repeat it over and over. I said it with her over and over and at the end we both could say it strongly with conviction. This was a powerful moment for me as I realized by sharing a story from my painful past with my daughter, I was able to apply the lessons I learned to help her prepare for these challenges in life as well as continue to heal the little girl inside of me. By working on it together and sharing our stories with one another, we are shifting this shared generational pattern – a pattern of letting others tell us what we are good at or what spaces we are allowed to play in.
Shining & Sharing Our Gifts for Good
By doing this, I reminded my daughter (and will keep reminding her), that we are given gifts in this life for a reason. It is up to us to determine what that reason is, but we are the only ones that can figure out that reason by using them and sharing them with others. By shining our light and sharing our gifts with others, we help them to do the same, and that is what brings good and beauty to the world.
Hope for the Future
It is my hope as an author to continue to use storytelling (whether fiction or non-fiction), to both relate to and help empower others. Whether it be sharing ways for parents to use storytelling to connect with their kids or by publishing books for kids to read and see themselves in the characters. Storytelling is a powerful tool and is something I hope we can all use to learn lessons and bring more good to the world.